I got married and had a kid at a pretty early age. Deciding to leave the Army and be a stay at home mom was not a decision I took lightly. However, with my first husband being in the Army as well, it only made sense. I spent a lot of time at home hanging out with little Blake and only a few short years later I was pregnant with Tristan. Fast forward a few more years and I was pregnant with Gabriel and then soon after that Troy.
After my first husband and I split, I met Rob. This isn’t a “How I met Rob” blog, so I’ll save that for another time. The point is, soon after that I was pregnant with Bella and the majority of my life has been having babies and raising toddlers. I feel like I am VERY good at that. With that being said, I have spent the last 17 years with at least 1 child at home. This is the first time I am experiencing the “empty nest”.
Before I started working, I was a full time Domestic Engineer (as I like to call it) and spent all of my time with Boy Scouts, School activities, Karate Classes and PTA meetings. I was very involved in what my kids were doing and wanted them to do MORE! Once I actually started working full time (after Rob moved out here), he was the one who stayed at home with the kids. I liked working, I loved getting to spend time with other adults and having grown up conversations. Most of all, I loved the fact that I was making more money than I ever had in my life!
As the years went on, I went from one contract to another and slowing got pay increases. I ended up working at Microsoft as one of the Community Managers for Microsoft Studios. Unfortunately, I was let go rather suddenly and the pay checks ceased a few days later. So, here I was again, staying at home and collecting unemployment. This isn’t a work history blog either so, moving on.
My point is that I am waking up every morning at 6:30 to get all the kids up and get them ready for school. Making sure they all brush their teeth, hair, put on deodorant, have their backpacks, socks, underwear (yes, underwear… so many times have I gotten calls from the school saying at least one of my children were NOT wearing underwear!) and that they haven’t forgotten their jackets.
Today was exceptionally hard because Tristan took the bus for the first time. Not a nice yellow school bus, but the actual metro bus. His high school gives out free metro passes to students that live too far away and are in a lower income household. We went over the bus route a few times and I showed him where he needed to switch bus’s about 100 times. I drove him all last week so I would point out all the places he needed to be so he had a visual. I actually think he was quite annoyed at me for saying it so many times!
I peeked out the patio blinds so he wouldn’t see me and watched him at the bus stop. He got on the bus and as it drove away I got a little teary eyed. I realized then that all of my children are growing up so fast and my life is officially different. No more diapers and sippy cups. I no longer have to cut their food into tiny bits. There will be no more “first day of school ever!” experiences.
Now that they are all off to school, I sit here and realize that I am actually bored as fuck! I mean, honestly and truly bored! I have been roaming around the house and cleaning a lot. Trying to figure out what I should be doing with all this free time. I could game, write, draw, read, clean, or do a million other things, but I sit here and actually stare at the clock waiting for them to come home. For so long my kids have been in my life 100% and now that they are growing up and doing their own things, I cant help but feel a little lonely and bored.
Until I figure it out, I’m going to go vacuum and play some WoW.